How To Return Home

Your bare feet sliding on the old wooden floorboards
Home just as you left it but still you're shaken
Like walking into a museum, somehow out of time
It's all the same except the girl in the hallway
Where she's been and who she'll ripen into
Your childhood's on the other side of a sprawling divide
To wide

Take a silent breath
Hold in the change
Tell yourself you still live here
Take your bags upstairs
It's the only way you'll get through today
Count the hours
Take a shower
Wash yourself away

-How to Return Home
(Kerrigan&Lowdermilk)

I'm home for the summer and I feel like I'm suffocating. I've been here exactly a week and I'm realizing exactly how long three months is. And it's too long. I'm going crazy. I can physically feel it and I don't know how to fix it or make it stop. I feel like I'm always on the verge of crying, but I can't. My chest feels heavy, like there's pressure on it. I feel so different from who I was when I lived here. I'm staying in the city next summer. I can't do this again. I'm coming out of my skin.