Nostalgia

I just finished by last character analysis for ETC ever! (Sidenote: Daytimes are Tuesday and Wednesday, and I hate them. I still don't know my lines.) I'm graduating in less then a month, I only have 10 days of school left and it's so weird. Everything I've ever known is coming to an end faster then I'd like it to, but I just have to keep reminding myself I'm leaving to do what I've always wanted to do. It doesn't seem real. I've wanted to be an actress and move to New York City since I can remember, and now that it's acutally happening, it's hard to beleive. It's almost as if someone will tell me last minute that something fell through, and I'm going to have to stay here. But I know that's not going to happen. I'm moving to New York City in 101 days, and my entire life is going to change. I can't wait. People always talk about the "college experience," about getting drunk, joinging a soriority, crazy parties...but the think is, I don't want that. Maybe I will be missing out on a experience that I should be having, but I'd rather be a drama major, audition whenever I can, and take dance classes insead of partying on the weekends. I guess it's been the same with high school. Sure, I have a lot of great friends. According to facebook I'm the 20th "Most Popular" but I often find myself wondering if I ever had the regualr high school experience. I've been reflecting a lot lately, and I've realized that no, I didn't have the regular experience. I didn't go to parties every weekend, I didn't date that much, I didn't go to that many football games. So after considering all of this I found myself wondering what I have done. I've done more then most people at my school. So I was never a cheerleader, but I did a million shows. This year alone I've done 4. I've danced at a studio on Broadway. I've auditioned for Broadway shows. At age 16, when most girls spent their time worrying about getting their drivers license, I spent my drivers test worrying about my audition that weekend in NYC. To give you an idea here are my most recent statuses on facebook:

Chloe is meeting with a Broadway director!

 
Chloe won the scavenger hunt...suckadick.

 
Chloe 31.

 
Chloe is in love with California for legalizing same sex marriage.

 
Chloe 32.

 
Chloe doesn't know her lines.

 
Chloe 33.

 
Chloe is 34 days!

 
Chloe is 35 days!

 
Chloe is studying for AP Psych.

 
Chloe this Emily should stop being a whore and let her know what the essay questions are.

 
Chloe is studying for AP psych.

 
Chloe hates daytimes.

 
Chloe miz.

 
Chloe is so happy it's the weekend...and thinks you should come see the mizzle tonight.

 
Chloe doesn't like this whole "be at school on time of you can't perform" thing.

 
Chloe is opening les miz.


Chloe is a goddamn apple.


 
Chloe 's soul is owned by les miz.

 
Chloe wants to know what time call is tonight.

 
Chloe wants to go to Florida now!

 
Chloe saw Bill and Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama all in one day!

 
Chloe is seeing Barack Obama speak at Pitt!

 
Chloe is with ETC girls til tomrrow!

 
Chloe is in New York City and AUDITIONING FOR SPRING AWAKENING ON BROADWAY TODAY!!!!


Chloe is in New York City and AUDITIONING FOR BROADWAY TOMRROW!


 
Chloe is in New York City...and is auditioning for Spring Awakening on BROADWAY on Sunday! Wish her luck!


I guess you just have to put everything in perspective. Sure, I'm not the average high school student, but who wants to be? Prom is on Thursday, and I'm going to be standing the middle of a crowd of poofy pastel ballgowns and fake nails with a short purple and gold and turquoise dress with a flower in my hair. Instead of taking a limo, I'm taking the subway to prom. And I love it. It's hard to think about what I'm leaving behind, but everytime I look to the future, everything I'm leaving behind seems trival. Leaving my home is hard, but it's the most exhilarating, liberating, terrifyingly beautiful thing I've ever experienced.