Tuesday, July 21, 2009

How To Return Home

Your bare feet sliding on the old wooden floorboards
Home just as you left it but still you're shaken
Like walking into a museum, somehow out of time
It's all the same except the girl in the hallway
Where she's been and who she'll ripen into
Your childhood's on the other side of a sprawling divide
To wide

Take a silent breath
Hold in the change
Tell yourself you still live here
Take your bags upstairs
It's the only way you'll get through today
Count the hours
Take a shower
Wash yourself away

-How to Return Home
(Kerrigan&Lowdermilk)

I'm home for the summer and I feel like I'm suffocating. I've been here exactly a week and I'm realizing exactly how long three months is. And it's too long. I'm going crazy. I can physically feel it and I don't know how to fix it or make it stop. I feel like I'm always on the verge of crying, but I can't. My chest feels heavy, like there's pressure on it. I feel so different from who I was when I lived here. I'm staying in the city next summer. I can't do this again. I'm coming out of my skin.

MAJOR UPDATES!

Okay, so I kind of totally forgot the password to this blog for about a year and I started a new one. So now that I'm back to this one I'm going to consolidate and repost some of my old entries from the other blog onto this one. These next few posts are from my first semester at school. And then I got busy and stopped.

I’m not a real blogger. I’m a pseudo wannabe blogger who only posts when she’s super bored and wants attention from random online stalkers who she hopes will sympathize, empathize or just find her funny. Or maybe they just find her super lame. Anyway…Here’s a bunch of posts to try to get this blog up to date.

DAY 1

Hey guys! So I don’t really know what to say or what I’m supposed to do with one of these, but I read this guy’s and it seems like a convenient way to keep all of my friends up to date with what I’m doing. Plus it’s a lot easier then telling 18 people the same thing. Right now I’m sitting in my aunt’s house in Connecticut. We got up early this morning and packed up the car. I’m surprised all of my stuff fit. We had to fold down two of the back seats in the Volvo to make everything if, so I had about 1 square foot of room for the 7 hour car ride. We left around 10:00 this morning and got here around 5:00. I took Dramamine so I ended up sleeping almost the entire ride. I woke up in Middle-Of-Nowhere, PA and then I woke up again and we were on the Tapen Zee Bridge, which was totes ballin’. So we’re staying here for the night and then we’re getting up really early tomorrow and then heading to New York. I’m moving in all morning and then we have to go to some boring meet and greet and lectures and stuff. Tomorrow night a group of us are going to the “Sex and the City” party at Duvet, a nightclub somewhere in the west 20’s. I’ll write more and post pictures tomorrow.

MOVE IN DAY

Hey guys! So I’m officially living in New York now. I’m all moved in, changed my network on facebook, and already had a few rendezvous’ with some pretty sketchy guys in midtown. I woke up at 6:30 this morning and it is now 3:58 am. I’ve been awake for 21 and a half hours. I have to wake up at 8:30 tomorrow apparently. I’ll probably wake up around 10:00 and go to this gay ass fire safety MANDATORY lecture. So I got here around 8:30 and almost cried when I
saw my room. The closet door is broken, paint is
chipping of the walls and the desk is peeling apart. But good news! They are fixing the closet door tomorrow, I’ve covered up the chipped paint with Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Buddha posters and little paper lanterns that are probably a fire hazard, but they’re cute so they’re staying.

(Lurk my facebook for my pictures of my dorm!)
All of my roommates are nice, we have absolutely nothing in common, but we get along well. I came home tonight and they were all asleep and I’m worried about waking them, I’m pretty sure my roommate thinks I’m loud and insane. Anyway…I moved my stuff in and go lunch with my parents and then we went to go listen to the president of the school speak but we left early because Ali broke her key in the door and needed me to go back to the suite with her to let her back in. So then I said bye to my parents (Not like for real though, they’re coming back tomorrow with food and fancy IKEA things.) and went to meet our Welcome Week leader. We never found ours so we ended up joining a group where our leaders told us what bars don’t card. We had dinner after that, but the veggie sandwich was gross so Ali went over to the student center and bought food and ate in our room. We had to go to a floor meeting and get lectured about how we can’t smoke pot in our dorms or we’ll set off the fire alarms and don’t drink and all that fun stuff. So after that we got dragged to some party, but Kate and I ended up leaving before we even got there to go meet up with people. (Kate went to go meet up with a friend from high school.) I went and found Leah and then we took the train to Penn Station.

We were planning on going to this massive party in the west 20’s but it was crazy when we got there. Apparently the club was filled to capacity so instead of having a $7 cover charge it was $20 (We found this out after waiting in line to get in). So we left, walked 20-something blocks to Time Square, found out my favorite bar with a view of the city was closed, found out Jamba Juice was closed then took the subway back to 32nd street.
We found this “Fresh Fast Food” store on 32nd and Broadway called Speedy’s and it’s my new favorite place. All of their food is made fresh, it’s mostly healthy, and they have amazing smoothies. It’s also open at 2 a.m. So then we went back to Penn Station, laughed at some drunken girl sitting with her friends while we waited for the train, transferred at Jamaica, and then got hit on by two guys stoned out of their mind. The one guy thought Leah looked like Natalie Portman, so of course we told him she was and she gave him her autograph. He kept trying to get us to go to some bar in Queens with him, but we got his phone number and went home. So I’m going to post this tomorrow because it’s already 4:15 and my alarm is going off at 8:00. I hate everything right now. I need a day to sleep.

XANADU

So today I ended up not getting up at 8:00 and skipped breakfast and some “Living with Diversity” lecture, or something boring like that. We had to go to a fire safety lecture, which was completely retarded, and they had a slideshow that told us; “fire is hot and dark” and of course a gym full of 18 year olds wouldn’t take that sexually. But then the built a dorm room and burnt it down to show us how quickly we could die if we have a coffee pot in our room. After that my parents came to drop off some food for my room, some lights, pillows and a mirror. We went to lunch together and then we said goodbye.I met up with Sinead, Colgen and Kendra and we went to meet Parks and Matt to get student rush tickets for Xanadu. We sat around outside the theater for about an hour (we were the first people in line) and we ended up getting 4th row seats for $26. After that we went to John’s to get pizza and then after that we walked all the way down to 32nd to get pink berry, which is my new crack. Then we had to run (literally, Parks is pretty speedy) back up to 44th for Xanadu. It was a lot better then I expected it to be. It’s one of those shows that I would never see unless someone else wanted to go, but I’m glad I went. Mary Testa is FIERCE! (Apparently people don’t say fierce here?) Whoopie Goldberg was in the cast, which was pretty cool. She wasn’t amazing, but she’s Whoopie Goldberg, so it’s all good. After the show we went to the stagedoor and we met Cheyenne Jackson, Kerry Butler, Mary Testa, and Whoopie Goldberg. She was pretty cool. So after that we wondered around the Time Square area, made our on dance club on 34th and Broadway and then headed back home. We missed the first train so we went to grab Starbucks and then went home.
I’m getting up early tomorrow to get breakfast with Colgen then we’re going to see In the Heights!! I’m so excited!! It’s my new obsession. I love the music and we get to see it for FREE! So that’ll take up most of my day, I’m not sure what I’m doing tomorrow night yet. I’m planning on seeing Hair in Central Park with Steph at some point this weekend. I’m also trying to find time to take a class or two at Steps on Broadway. I’ll figure it out eventually.

IN THE HEIGHTS

I got up early today and met Colgan to go get breakfast and then to go see In The Heights. Since it was a trip through the school everything was free, which was pretty sweet. They gave us a round trip train ticket, a metro card, and a ticket to the show. We got there around 12:30 and looked for Subway (Because Colgan had a gift card, haha.). Kara, Victoria, Alex, Colgan and I got food and then took it to Bryant Park and ate there. It was really nice, but kind of busy. They’re setting up tents for something. [Photo] We walked back to the theater and the show was AMAZING! Seriously, if any of you are in NYC you have to go see it! So after the show I left the group and went up to Morningside Heights to meet up with Steph. We went to some Indian restaurant on west 73rd about a block away from the park. It was really good! After that we walked down to the Park and found out where Hair was playing and figured out how early we’d have to get there to get tickets. (We’re going next weekend.) After that we both went home, I had a 20 minute wait at Penn Station which was just lovely. On the train I ended up sitting next to some family with small children that were fighting, and the mother started freaking out because they were on the wrong train. After I got home I hung out with my roommates for a while and just kind of wondered around. There was some frat party but apparently it was pretty sketchy so we didn’t go.

I ♥ MTA

Hey guys! So yesterday I slept till like 1:45, which was AMAZING! I seriously needed to catch up on sleep. So after I got up and texted Ali to see where she was and I went up to Pete and Greg’s room to meet them. We watched Casino Royale (which is the longest effing movie) till almost 4:00. Then I stopped to get food at the student center and took it over to Park and Matt’s room. There were like 80 million people there. And by that I mean like 7. We watched Beyonce’s concert on DVD and then parks of Cindi and Brittany’s concerts. After that I went back and met up with Ali, Hayley, Kim, and Jen to go to the soccer game…we lost. (0-1) After that we went back to our room, took showers, and got ready for the soccer party. We started walking over around midnight, but Greg texted Pete and told him not to come for another 20 minutes, so we ended up chilling in some garden on campus for a while. When we got there everyone was completely wasted. There was some guy Ali thought was really hot, but then he puked on his pants and passed out naked on a bed somewhere (not so hot). We went back to “the chill zone” and sat around till about 4:00am.[Photo] Right now I’m on a train back to school. I took a jazz class at Steps on Broadway this afternoon, which kicked my ass. 2 hours of intense fosse jazz made me want to pass out in the middle of the sidewalk. I’ve never sweated that much in my life. So then I took the subway to 42nd street station and decided to walk the last 10 blocks to Penn. It’s a really nice day out so I walked down Broadway and got soft serve. My transfer is next!! Okay, I’ve successfully transferred in Jamaica. Apparently there’s come festival thing going on today because everyone on my train and on the platform has a bunch of different flags and shirts and stuff from Jamaica and Dominican Republic and stuff like that. ANYWAY…. So this morning I got up around 10:00-ish, maybe? And went into Ali and Hayley’s room and we watched Enchanted. And by watches I mean Ali and I fell asleep and I think Hayley took a shower at some point during the movie. So I decided I should do something somewhat productive so that’s why I was at Steps. I’m going to go home and watch the Gossip Girl season premier. I’m pretty excited about it. I’ve recently got addicted to it and I want to be Serena!!! Sans coke. I’m pretty sure some blind guy on the subway checked me out today. He had a cane like he was blind, but he had prescription glasses, so maybe he just had really bad vision? Either way I’m pretty sure it happened and I was pretty creeped out. I’m coming home the last weekend of September. Grandma bought me tickets, so I’ll be home on Friday, September 26 until that Sunday night…I think. I still need to see the itinerary. I don’t really have anything else today, but I have another 10 minutes on the train and this is kind of entertaining so I’ll going to continue to ramble on for a few more paragraphs I’m sure. My phone is dead, so I can’t call anyone. It’s also kind of sketchy to be on the subway/lirr without a way to get ahold of anyone. But GOOD NEWS! I know where I’m going/I’m almost home. Another train is passing us going the same way. Why aren’t we going that fast. I want to go faster. I need to get home and see Gossip Girl!!! The guy coming through to punch our tickets is booking it. He just did an entire car in probs like 15 seconds. The sunset is really pretty. I’m in Queen’s now, so there aren’t as many buildings blocking the sky. It’s all rainbow-y and stuff. Okay, my stop is next…I think…Hopefully. So I’ll stop rambling and I’ll write more tomorrow. It’s my first day of classes, so I’m sure I’ll have something entertaining to write about. My first class is math (gross), but it’s not till 11:10, which is AMAZING! Soooooo…..BYE!

FIRST CLASSES AND HAIR

So my first class of college was cancelled. We had convocation instead so we went and sat in a theater while the president spoke for a while and then I had a free 30 minutes to go get food. French is pretty boring; I’m debating switching back into Spanish. My Play Analysis class was really good though. My teacher is really nice and I think the class will be pretty interesting. Some of the plays we’re reading I’ve already read in Modern Drama. After class I just hung out for a while and then went to a frat party, which was kind of dumb because I have class at 9:20 am, but I’m going to bed now and it’s only 1:00 am, so I’ll be fine.My second day of class was pretty sweet. I had writing at 9:20 am, but it was pretty easy. We only have 14 people in our class and the teacher seems really nice. We played the name game and that was pretty much it. I had a few hour break after that and I went home, took and shower, went to a Dance and Drama Department meeting and got lunch. After that I had Art History, which doesn’t seem like it’s going to be that bad. It’ll be kind of boring, but we get to take fieldtrips to the Met and other museums in the city, so it should be pretty fun. After that I had Drama 55, which is going to be fun, but a lot of work. We have to have two contrasting monologues prepared (off book) for Wednesday. Our final in the class is to audition in front of the department. Awesome. [Photo]I won the Hair lottery last night, so Parks and I left at like 5:30. We stopped at Sbarro and then went up to the park to pick up or tickets. We were running a little bit late so we literally ran 5 blocks down 81st street to the park, but we got there on time. The show was AMAZING! We’re going to try to get tickets again for next weekend. It’s closing on the 14th so we have a week left to go see it again. If you’re in NYC in the next week GO SEE IT! After that we went down to 32nd (Korea) to get Pinkberry…Crackberry…but it was closed!! My question is this: if we’re in the city that never sleeps why the fuck is crackberry closed? But good news! Red Mango (Coke Mango), the ripped of place halfway down the block was still open, so we got that instead and came home.

GYPSY

Let me just start by saying…I MET PATTI LUPONE! I had English and Art History and then I went to get student rush tickets for Gypsy with Matt, Matthew, and Ryan. When we got to the ticket booth we were in line behind Laura Benanti (Louise, she won a tony for Gypsy, google her). The show was AMAZING! If you’re in the city…go see it. It’s one of the most amazing performances I’ve seen! Patti LuPone is amazing! She’s really nice and totes fierce!!

THE LAST MONTH OF MY LIFE!

So I haven’t written in like a month. I’ve been pretty busy with school and stuff so here’s a quick update and everything else I have to say about the last month!
Luis Alfaro! Google him! He’s a playwright…he wrote Electricidad. I went to a symposium where he spoke and he is BRILLIANT! Just to hear the things that come out of his mouth is amazing. He’s so down to earth and lives in the moment and it’s amazing to hear the stories he tells. Seriously, look him up!“You are born and you'll die baby, and somewhere in this cycle of life we get to do extraordinary things.”
-Luis Alfaro I saw Legally Blonde with Steph. It was cute. I would say go see it, but it closed. Bailey Hanks, that girl from the Mtv show, was okay. She was decent, but the rest of the cast was phenomenal, so it was kind of weird to see supporting characters that were a lot better then the lead, but apparently we saw her on an off night right after she came back from being sick, so I could be wrong. I went home for a long weekend! It was really nice to see my parents and my pets and some of my friends and to sleep in my own bed. It was pretty uneventful, but it was nice to see everyone. It was also kind of weird to be back home while everyone else was gone. And I lived out of a suitcase in my bedroom…that was weird. I saw Spring Awakening (which is now closing, so if you haven’t seen it yet hurry up and go before January). The replacement cast wasn’t as good as the original, but it was still pretty good. It was my suitemate’s birthday so we went to this really cute bar called Asian on Bleaker and 7th. And then we went to this other hookah bar in Greenwich…it was a pretty good night. [Photo] EMILY AND NICOLE CAME TO VISIT ME! It was so much fun!! I took them to the Cloisters (the previously mentioned hookah bar) and we got Indian food with Steph and it was delicious. Nicole didn’t really like the city, but hopefully they had a good time. We saw Equus! Yes, Harry Potter is in it. Yes, I did see him naked. Yes, I did enjoy it. It was actually probably the best play I’ve seen! So even if Daniel Radcliff isn’t naked, you should try to get tickets to see it at some point. The plot is really cool and the production of it was fantastic! We went to a Derrick Comedy (Bro Rape) improv show at Upright Citizens Brigade, which was hilarious, and then we stayed to see the premier of their full-length movie. I’m not sure if it’s out or online or what, but defiantly try to find it somewhere. It was hilarious. The next night we met up with Steph, Lizzy and her friend and went to see Assscat, an improv group with people from SNL and 30 Rock. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. And free! Other then that I just took them around places, we chilled in Central Park and all that fun stuff.