Aloha! I'm trying to pretend I'm somewhere nice and warm where you could say "aloha" and not get weird looks, but sadly I'm in the cold and snow and rain and all that. Instead of doing my AP Psych homework I'm here, because my homework is dumb. I'm supposed to write a letter to my future child. Except the problem is I don't really know if I want any children. I teach them dance, and that's enough for me right now. You get your little dose of cuteness and loudness and screaming and running around and then they go back home where their parents have to deal with them and I can go home and only have to deal with people in their 40's. But the alternative is writing a letter to my parents with my thoughts on their parenting. Except if I did that it would turn into an angry rant and my teacher would have a parent conference and I'd end up at a therapist. Like my aunt. Except she's not really a therapist, she just thinks she is because she went to school to become a therapist, but she quit and now she has a 3 year old Russian. My friend wrote a brill letter that I would totally use if I wasn't getting graded:
"Dear So&so,
You were a complete accident, thank god I won when I sued the condom company. Thanks for the 9 months of pain and not to mention the stretch marks. No really, they add charm. Don't fuck up your life with a child.
LOVE,
'mom'"
In reality my letter is like "I hope you have a great childhood and you're able to achieve your dreams bla bla bla." It's only a page and a half, because there's only so much you can B.S.
Does anyone want a Jem Sweater?! Because this lady, Leslie Hall, has them, I'm sure you can borrow one. Seriously, she has videos on Youtube and everything! It's amazing. Just look through her pictures, she names all of her sweaters! And not like "Frank" or "Lisa" or "Judy" she names them weird ass things like "Brown Bear Looking Glass" and "First Lady Manners" and "Ball Bells Squad Leader". After being featured on VH1, I have decided I'm going to be best friends with her.
Starting tomorrow I can't straighten my hair. Which is totes not cool because it'll be a big massive mess of frizz! But because we're in hair and make-up for rehearsals starting tomorrow I can't use conditioner or straighten it so they can do it when I get to the theater. We preview on Wednesday, so we've all been living at the theater. Except for today. Today I lived in my bed. My one day off and I laid in bed, lurked facebook, ate pancakes, and went to the pet store with Nicole so she could buy frozen dead mice for her snake. My life is awesome.
Speaking of awesome-ness, a while ago I said I wanted to go to college in Manhattan so I can work while I'm in school...wellllllll, I'm accepted into college so I will be able to do all that fun stuff. And also hang with Naked Cowboy. Who I've been seeing less and less. I miss him. Remember when he was in that Avril Lavigne music video? And also, remember when people liked Avril Lavigne? I do. I went to her concert in 7th grade. I was the shit.
“Half of the U.S. soldiers in Vietnam tried heroin or opium.”
This is what I learned while doing my AP Psychology homework tonight. Which wasn’t really homework, it was more like me aimlessly taking notes and not processing the information at all. Anyway, I thought that was interesting. I mean, is that stuff happening in Iraq now? I mean, soldiers are already over there for no reason, and if I was one of them I would totally be sparking it up and tripping and all that crazy stuff the kids are into these days.
Also, Barack Obama won the Iowa caucus! I’m pretty happy about that. And then some ass was like “it doesn’t really mean anything” and I was like whatevs let me have my moment!!! I’m pretty excited for this election, and I’m totally not going to be one of those punks who are all like “voting, whatever, I have to many emotions for that...I need to go listed to Good Charlotte” and I'm totally going to vote and campaign and all that fun stuff. Especially for Obama. (Bang-able president ‘08! HOLLA!) Not really, but that's a good slogan, right?! Most def.
I saw Sweeney Todd this afternoon. It was good, but ridiculously bloody. Like, me and Carol were covering our eyes half the time. Johnny Depp was surprisingly good, and I think I love his voice a little bit. I mean obvs he’s not the typical musical theater singing, but that's what I like about it. Helena Bonham Carter was effing awesome. I mean, not the singing, but the acting. And she was hot--like, creepy hot.
Okay, so I’m listening to iTunes and it’s just on shuffle and I’m realizing how random my music is. I mean, the CD in my car right now has Les Mis and Jay-Z on the same CD, whatevs. That’s totally normal. Remember B*Witched? I do. I still crank up the volume and rock out in my car to them. With other people. I don’t rock out to B*Witched alone. (If I’m alone I normally rock out to Sara Bareilles or Fergie or Tegan and Sara or Across the Universe. Because obvs trippy rock musicals with hot british people are the epidimy of “rock out in your car alone to” playlists. My friend called me tonight and was like “I was driving next to you for like 5 minutes. I honked and waved and stuff, but you were completely oblivious!” Why was I completely oblivious? Because I was rocking out to my mad mix CD of gold...duh.) After that whole rant I thought I’d leave you with a list of my 10 most recently played songs...so you have have an illegal-download-music-from-limewire-rave-fest if you’re bored enough.
1. Ne Me Quitte Pas -- Regina Spektor 2. Slow Me Down -- Emmy Rossum 3. Where Does the Good Go -- Tegan and Sara 4. Suddenly I See -- KT Tunstall 5. Love Song -- Sara Bareilles 6. Revolution -- The Beatles 7. I’ve Just Seen A Face -- The Beatles 8. Clumsy -- Fergie 9. Say So -- Uh Huh Her 10. Cyclone -- Baby Bash
So a “blog.” Wow. I probably should wait until after I’m accepted into a school [except Point Park, I’m already accepted there (WHAT'S UP COPA!?)] to start this thing, because apparently schools have professional stalkers to find out every intimate detail about you; i.e. the parties you go to, the people you hang out with, the drugs you take, the alcohol you consume in mass quantities on a weekly basis, the number of illegal immigrants you have living in your basement, the number of illegitimate children you have running around pretending to be your “little brother that was born the same time you did a semester abroad”, and your extra curricular activities. Except, I don’t go to that many shady parties, and I don’t do drugs [which apparently came as a shock to my dad.] But seriously, I don’t smoke pot, or take shrooms, or trip on E, or acid, although if you look between my toes you’ll find a plethora of needle marks. JAY KAY! I totally hate needles. And also, I don’t have any illegals living in my house, and I’m not really into the whole teen pregnancy thing so I don’t have any kids. Having said all this, if you’re from a college and are continuing to stalk me, would you like to hire me? I spend about a third of the time that should be dedicated to homework and being productive lurking people’s facebook, I could totally do it professionally.
Anyway, so this blog is basically for me to rant about stupid stuff that happens in my life. Here’s a preview:
I’m currently at the library on a self-imposed snow day. We had a delay and I was like “Hey Mom, I need to find a monologue so I can get into college! I’m going to the library, I’ll go to school later.” So I got here and there was a booth open by a window and I was all oh that’ll be nice. But after sitting here for an hour I realized that sitting by a giant window in the middle of winter is maybe not the best idea. But now that I’m here and my shit is all over the table and I can put my feet up on the bench across from me, I’m not moving.
So 2008 is off to a great start. I haven’t been to school one day yet, and I continue to procrastinate. Kinda like I’m doing right now, instead of finding a monologue for my auditions which are in a month and a half. But whatever, it’s cool, I totally have my 16 bars and they’re really cute and everything. Also, I have no idea what to wear!? “Dress nicely but be able to move comfortably.” Is that like jeans and a nice shirt? A dress? I can move comfortably in a dress unless you want me to roll around on the floor and do a split or something. I mean I could still do it comfortably, you’d just see my ass. Would I get extra points if you do see my ass? If you don’t know me, these crazy tangents are how I normally talk. Anyway, here I am, sitting in my cold little cubby hole at the library, writing this instead of getting into school.
That’s my New Year’s resolution, to get into a good school. Preferably one in Manhattan. It’s just that the whole “starving artist” thing works so much better when you actually have a steady flow of work and auditions to help you become not-starving. Also, there's stuff to do in Manhattan. If you want to become a trapeze artist, you can do it there. Like that one time in Sex and the City. She totally does it for an article and it’s sweet. Me and my friend are going to do that. We totally googled it and everything and we’re going to go and it’s going to be fun and we’re not going to die and maybe we’ll get a really hot instructor.
Speaking of friends, the same friend is supposed to be meeting my at my little cold booth in the library to help me look for monologues and provide moral support. Except she’s still asleep. It’s 11:57...I got up at 8:45 like the good little student I am. Except for the part about how I’m not in school. Other then that I’m a good student. So since she’s still asleep I’m here all alone with my iBook and my vitamin water, which I’m slowly becoming addicted to. I don’t like all of it though. Just the pink and the yellow.
Hey college stalkers?! Still with me? If so, you can totally lurk her too:
This video only furthers my point how much I love vitamin water. I’m pretty sure I mention it in our other video too. [Sorry college stalkers, I’m not addicted, I can quit any time I want.]
The guy sitting at the table next to me is typing really fast. It’s kinda like one of those professional piano players who gets really into it and starts to like lean into the piano and sway and stuff. Anyway, I think I might be the only one under 30 in the entire library right now. No! I lied. A four year old just ran by.
Ew, my hip just popped.
One thing that sucks when you’re skipping class to be productive and you try to procrastinate is that there is really nothing to procrastinate with. No one is on AIM or facebook, and there’s only so many “walls” you can write on before people can tell that you don’t actually give a shit about communicating with them, you’re just trying to amuse yourself. Remember before AIM and facebook and myspace? Before creepy old men could stalk you? And also, remember dial up? I do. I had it til like 2 years ago. Like it used to take 5 minutes to get on AOL and you had all those crazy screeching noises...yeah, it was pretty awesome. And also, remember the 90’s? Like leggings? They’re coming back, and I’m pretty excited about it. I could probably wear the leggings from when I was 10. I’m pretty short.
Also, remember chain letters? Like, before chain e-mails (which I was totally into for a while, like e-mail. Me and Nicole are trying to bring it back.) there were chain letters. Where you would literally get a letter and you’d have to go make copies and address envelopes and pay for postage and I was all excited when I got one in the mail and then I thought about about all the effort it would take to keep it going and I was like; fuck this! Except not. Because I was like 11. I just got a chain text, which I think is totally hilarious. Except for the face that it’s like “I sent this to the 15 most important people in my life. If I don’t get it back I understand,” and then you’re like; SHHIIIIEEET! I don’t want to send this back to you, but I totally do appreciate you, or care about you, or whatevs.
The season premier of Law and Order is on tonight. And also the first episode of Project Runway for 2008. It’s a tough choice. I’ll have to flip back and fourth between commercials. Does Elisa seriously bother anyone else? I mean, she spits on fabric!! Like...EW! I guess some people are into that, but I don’t want anyone spitting on anything I’m wearing. And also, I think she might be slightly psychotic. If you have no idea what I’m talking about this is the link to her bio for easy access...I’m all about that.
Does anyone want a Jem Sweater?! Because this lady, Leslie Hall, has them, I'm sure you can borrow one. Seriously, she has videos on Youtube and everything! It's amazing. Just look through her pictures, she names all of her sweaters! And not like "Frank" or "Lisa" or "Judy" she names them weird ass things like "Brown Bear Looking Glass" and "First Lady Manners" and "Ball Bells Squad Leader". After being featured on VH1, I have decided I'm going to be best friends with her.
